killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

09.18.14 113617

ewelock:

dean-tacos-cas:

spookapple:

jackvessalius:

image

image

image

look what we have here

i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life

I sat here until my eyes glazed over and then was thinking ‘this is so dumb its just three wells’ and then

09.18.14 403653

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

vrixie:

irisannwest:

do you ever

do you ever just have

that one class

that one freaking class

that just depresses you when you think about it because

oh god you hate it so much

The bourgeoisie

09.18.14 377645

aaron724wiley:

educationalpancakes:

ayumichan46:

YES IT CAME BACK

THIS IS THE ONLY ONE OF THESE THAT IS EVEN REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE THANK YOU

STRONGLY AGREE

09.17.14 142393

aaron724wiley:

educationalpancakes:

ayumichan46:

YES IT CAME BACK

THIS IS THE ONLY ONE OF THESE THAT IS EVEN REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE THANK YOU

STRONGLY AGREE

09.17.14 142393

trombono:

chen000:

chen000:

how to draw a sheep: draw a cloud, legs, a circle for the head and there you have it
a sheep

someone draw a sheep using these instructions

image

this rlly helped i think this is the best sheep i have EVER drawn!!!

09.17.14 96140
Anonymous asked:
fuck's the beep test???

bastille:

lemme tell u the story of my people son

the first beep goes off and you start off motivated and you feel like you can do this. The 20 metres feel like nothing, as you run, another beep goes forcing you to make it to the opposite side of the gym. The beeps get faster and faster as you cling for air, the children begin to drop. Slowly at first and then all at once. You just pray to god you arent the first to drop off. The beeps get faster and faster till you can take it no more. You go to the side, out of the other peoples way as their legs begin to buckle. You look over and you see the bodies of many lying limp on the floor. Some may even faint and be sent home. And that my son, is the story of the beep test.

09.16.14 22900
puniper:

U N L E A S H  T H E  B E E S

puniper:

U N L E A S H  T H E  B E E S

09.16.14 35980
09.15.14 74777

shubbabang:

So I work at target now and one of my favorite things to do when I hear something in the next aisle fall is to drop what I’m doing and stand at the end of that aisle like so:

image

image

image

image

image

09.15.14 111527

dubstepsunset:

It’s too early but I laughed louder than I should have

09.15.14 123097

datfamilybusiness:

castielsbottledgrace:

jibblyuniverse:

Every time Steve Rogers has sex, a bald eagle is born

No wonder they’re endangered.

image

09.14.14 171952

punkrockluna:

The pride in his eyes in that last cap

09.14.14 469231

A king’s arrival is never silent

A king’s arrival is never silent

09.14.14 11926